


If you make Frodo a Jedi,

by Prince_Pondincherry



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Pondincherry/pseuds/Prince_Pondincherry
Summary: There's a saying among fanfiction writers about what you should do if you make Frodo a Jedi. This is that story.





	If you make Frodo a Jedi,

**Author's Note:**

> This is my favorite thing I've ever published, although it's not very popular on ff.net. I guess some people don't get my sense of humor. Which is fair, this is quite silly.

“The mountain fights us! We’ll never get through!”

“Saruman’s voice is upon the wind!”

Frodo shut out all the yelling of his friends and allies and the harrowing chill and monstrous roar of the snowstorm bearing down upon them as he sank into a light meditation. Master Bombadil’s words resonated within him.

“Feel the Force, Mr. Baggins. Penetrate us all and bind us together it does. You. The rock. This tree. Even the shades that encountered earlier you did. The whole world exists within the Force.” And the snow in the storm was a part of the Force as well. At the same time, Frodo firmly shut out the insistent tugging of the dark side that he could feel around his neck. _No_. He did not need to tap into that power; it would only destroy him.

Focusing, Frodo pushed back against the wind until it had slackened enough that they were finally making some headway. Changing his focus, he pushed the snow out of their path. Shouting their gratitude to him so they could be heard over the wind, the Fellowship continued onward.

-

Legolas, lightly balancing on top of the snow as he scouted ahead, crested the top of the mountain pass and gasped.

“Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?” called out Aragorn.

“It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. It’s like…it’s like the moon fell out of the sky!”

Gandalf climbed to the top of the pass and gazed outwards at the massive spherical monstrosity of metal that covered all of Mordor and some additional lands as well. “No. That’s no moon. But you have as much idea as to what it is as do I.”

-

The Mouth of Sauron cowered before the tower that was his master. Somehow the great eye was still the most imposing thing he had ever seen, even though it was dwarfed by the massive chamber of metal the tower was located in. This was partly because he couldn’t see the whole chamber—its only lighting came from Sauron’s bright red eye, the flickering red hue adding to his master’s aura of terror.

“Report.”

“My lord, your legions are starving. There is no light or food to be found anywhere in this metal monstrosity. The Haradrim and East Men had ridden off, assuming you vanquished, but fortunately our heralds caught up to them and convinced them to return. Still, they are restless without any supplies.”

The great and powerful voice rumbled. “This is…unfortunate. I must step up my plans. Send out the legions to attack Gondor today.”

-

In another set of circumstances, Sauron would have waited several more weeks before being goaded into attacking by a vision of Elendil in the Palantir, and even then he attacked too early. This time, his forces were starving and far less prepared, and Gondor routed them thoroughly. The Fellowship infiltrated the metal monstrosity that Mordor had become, using Frodo’s sensitivity to life to avoid detection by ordinary sentries. When the Nazgul caught up to them, the fantastical light sword Frodo had been taught to make by the little green master in the forest proved to be highly effective against the shadow creatures, and the ring was soon destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom, ending Sauron’s reign once and for all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about the common fanfiction saying that if you make Frodo a Jedi, you need to give Sauron the Death Star, and then I got to thinking what that would actually look like. This is only the most ridiculous version I could think of, but honestly, why would Sauron want a Death Star? He’s not about to blow up the planet he wants to dominate! The only thing I could think of was if the Death Star came with a full complement of troops, but then why not give him the troops?
> 
> (Yes, I know it’s not meant to be taken literally, but there are probably more accurate metaphors someone could come up with.)


End file.
